i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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