in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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