I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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