We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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