I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
