Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize