Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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