Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize