Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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