I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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