My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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