that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
