I seem to have left my pride at pride
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
