I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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