Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
