dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
well most of my day revolves around power hour
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
