playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
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