the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
