grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
