those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
