16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize