omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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