Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
