Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
This is my gift to your gina
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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