Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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