There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
