Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
