but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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