did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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