Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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