his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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