cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
