I can text with my tongue
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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