Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
