There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
