How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize