I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
