oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
