carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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