Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
