Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
