Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
