Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
