there's paper in my vomit.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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