After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
