I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
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You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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