I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Your tits are I can't wait for
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
