Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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