You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
