Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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