: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
