Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
