She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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