and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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