remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
