And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
