too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize