i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize