PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
