One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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