I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
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thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
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Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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