hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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