i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
